Let’s talk about setting boundaries!
Have you ever had your boundaries crossed? Chances are you have experienced feelings of anxiety, stress, or pressure when spending time with a loved one or family member. That is your sign that a boundary might be needed.
Here are three examples where a boundary may be needed:
- Your friend or family member loves to discuss politics and headline news. You don’t mind the discussion and know they look forward to sharing their views with you. But after discussing it for an hour, you would like to move on to more positive topics.
- Your spouse has a stressful situation at work. It has become the only topic of conversation and after a long day you would like to talk about more than work.
- Your spouse or roommate enjoys watching football, playing fantasy football, discussing football. They breathe football! You would rather read a book, go for a walk, take a bath, anything but talk more about football.
If this is something you have experienced, you know how it feels. So what do you do? How do you make sure that you are speaking up when things get to a point of uncomfortable? It is easier than you may think. Do not suffer in silence. Say something! I had a discussion with a client recently who decided to let her husband know that she was feeling really anxious and stressed out because of how much their conversations revolved around world events. They agreed to discuss it for a maximum of 15 minutes a day, they even set a timer! She shared in our last coaching session that she has so much more joy in her week and is enjoying time with her husband so much more!
So how do you set a boundary? Here are three tips on what so say when setting a boundary:
- Be direct – focus on the behavior or situation that you want to address. Do not sugar coat it. Do not make it smaller than it is. You want to set a boundary for a reason. Define it!
- Use I statements – focus on your experience. This will help you communicate in a less confrontational way. For example, “Lately we have spent a lot of time talking about politics and I have noticed a lot more anxiety and stress in my day. I need more positive topics so I don’t feel so overwhelmed.”
- Be friendly – think about your tone of voice. Are you accusing the other person of something or are you asking in a friendly way? If emotions are involved, take a deep breath. Smile. Say what you need.
If boundary setting is something you would like coaching around, consider hiring me!
Schedule a 30-minute discovery call with me here: https://calendly.com/unlockbalancedhealth/better-together-life-coaching-assessment Share this with a friend or leave me a comment on social media.
Reach out to me, a friend, a coworker, a loved one. We are so much better together!
Barbara